


A Trail to Follow Again

by ohhazeeey



Category: Avengers, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Endgame, Angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky deserves the whole world, Endgame, Forgiveness, Grief, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Overall, Peggy deserves to live HER OWN GODDAMN LIFE, Sam Wilson is the superior cap, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve fixed his booboo, Tony Stark Has A Heart, bruce is mentioned like once, enjoy, everybody needs a hug, my poor baby, none of this russo bullshit, sam is a sly little shit who's a sucker for Steve's cave in for barnes, soft, stevebucky gets their shit together, the ENDGAME ENDING that we deserved, what we truly deserved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 03:13:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20075182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohhazeeey/pseuds/ohhazeeey
Summary: Bucky Barnes deserved nothing less that what he bargained for. A man who's past has pulled him every which way, finds himself in grief over the late Tony Stark, as well as not being able to say his proper goodbye until even a man buried six feet under can still amaze him. Meanwhile, Steve Rogers has a tough decision that he has to make, one that determined his final future.





	A Trail to Follow Again

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first au on here! wow!  
creds to @endofthelinebb (Jace) and @thewntersoldjer (Alexa) on twitter for the prompts, I love you both <3
> 
> let me know what you think! 
> 
> I'm @ohhazeeey on twitter <3

> "Bucky... he always made me feel like there was _hope_. That the future was worth fighting for." 
> 
> \- Steve Rogers,_ Planet Hulk No. 5 (for devan)_

It hurt. Of course, it would hurt. The pain isn’t new. It’s always just sat there, a ball of guilt just afloat within you. That’s when he felt that ball of guilt grow three times the size it was. When his ol’ pal watched someone who Bucky has been wanting to apologize to for years, let his life slip away.

Right when he saw his light go out, his head hung low. Bucky knew it was over, and he couldn’t say what he wanted to say in time. He ran out of time. _We are always running out of time. _

He couldn’t help but let his tears slip. Tony wanted nothing but to help Bucky when he found out that he wasn’t involved with the UN bombing. But right then and there, when Bucky heard her voice on the monitor call out for Howard, a man he once knew, he felt useless. He knew what _he_ had done, not Bucky. And unfortunately, Tony couldn’t see that.

Who could blame him? The man who killed his parents was standing _right there_. Bucky wanted nothing more than to apologize, to explain, to have him know that it truly wasn’t his fault.

Nothing could have changed Tony’s broken heart on that day. _Nothing_.

Bucky looked up from his now worn down uniform pants, and watch as Steve stood up from kneeling, and pulling Pepper into a hug. Bucky looks to Steve, someone he longed for a long time but never told him. It was deemed that he could never find an appropriate time.

_I hope I don’t lose him someday_.

The group of worn down, heavy-hearted heroes all took their bow in honour of Tony and were now standing, ready for the next course of action. Steve turns his body slightly, catching his teary, red eyes with Bucky’s.

“Find a place to rest, get some food, some water, some sleep. We will all be in touch soon-” He says, and Bucky could tell his voice was about to crack from the desperate need to cry out for his friend. A cry of pain, of unresolved arguments and empty sentences. But Bucky knew that Steve stood with his dignity on any battlefield, a battlefield that happened to cause a loss the whole world would have to grieve.

A battlefield is never left without a sacrifice.

It’s a proven fact.

-

“You look weary.” Bucky’s voice was hoarse, from the war, from the recent loss and that ball of floating guilt. Steve’s eyes hung low, sleep wasn’t really much on his radar after the funeral. Bucky looks to the man he couldn’t look away from. Either it was because Steve looked so horrible, or because Bucky’s undying love was too distracting.

Either way, it caused Steve to notice. He didn’t say anything, just gazed back. “You know, I found something when I visited the house.” He says softly, breaking up the comfortable yet weird eye contact. Bucky raised a brow and looked to his fingers, watching as he picked the skin on his thumb nervously.

“I think you should take a look.” He gently tosses over a small compact cube.

Bucky scrunched his brows in confusion. “What is this?” He asks, and Steve purses his lips. He doesn’t say anything to his old friend but reaches his hand out. Bucky looks to his hand, not knowing how to respond, but by simply grasping his hand, and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll leave you to it.” Steve mumbles, now breaking their contact as he leaves the room quickly, making Bucky miss his touch a little more than he should’ve.

He diverts his attention back to a small silver cube. He sets it down onto the table, eyeing it briefly before a prominent blue light struck him in the eyes. He squinted before moving away and turning around to see what the blue light was conjuring.

Him.

He stood just a few feet from Bucky, his fingers scratching his chin. He wore a suit, not a shocker, and his hair was perfectly quaffed, just like how Bucky met him.

_“Hey, stranger.”_ He spoke, causing Bucky to jump back a little, finding the armrest of his chair poking his leg. He takes a seat and watches as the figure of Tony pace gently. _“Look, about Siberia… I really hope there are no hard feelings. Really, you can’t blame me, but I should have listened to you.”_ He says, and Bucky can’t tell if this was meant for him or for Steve.

_“Barnes,”_

That answered his question. _“I'm wondering if this is eating you alive. And if you are watching this, that means you never got the chance to say what you wanted to say to my face, which granted, might have been a good thing.”_ Tony sighs.

_“I don’t know anymore, my parent’s death is behind me. Your.. other friend… is behind me, I look at you as someone who only wants to help. You’re like your counterpart, rather stubborn yet severely sympathetic. I’m shocked.”_ Tony raises his brow. Bucky chuckles.

_“Point is, I’m not fuming over our little war we had back in Germany. In fact, just a few minutes before I started recording this, I was sitting next to my wife and my kid, thinking about how my life has come to this very moment.”_ He crosses his arms. “_In a way, you had a part in this. Everyone had a part in this. So if anything, I should be thanking you_.” He scoffs in his own disbelief.

Bucky bites back a small smile.

_“A few things before I go, one: please for the love of God, ask him to go on a date or something. Because from the last time I saw you, the amount of staring at each other was absolutely ice-breaking.”_ A chair pulls into frame, and he sits in it, just across from Bucky. Even though technically no one was in the room, Bucky tried to hide his blush.

_“Two: It took me some time to realize that you were stripped of your freedom, to a radical group that wanted nothing but your cavity to create something that you had no control over.”_ He says, wafting his hand in the air to excuse the emotion. A rather dramatic trait of Tony’s. But Bucky’s eyes spilled with tears anyway. That ball of guilt slowly began to melt just from those words alone.

He pauses, and sighs. “_You got a second chance. Don’t screw it up. I’m counting on you strangely attractive, yet old… man._” Tony’s attention turns to a little girl who ran up to him. He says something softly to her before she runs off. Bucky’s tears couldn’t stop themselves from the sight of Tony’s daughter, Bucky could help but remember the look in Tony’s eyes when he realized that it was him on the monitor, Bucky’s hand slipped over his own mouth to prevent a sob, from the sole idea that Tony Stark wasn’t here. Wasn’t saying this to him in person.

So he shuts his eyes and bites back the hurt, that ball of guilt that suddenly gained its strength again.

_ “And Bucky?”_

Bucky’s eyes shot open, looking at the bluely lit figure. _“I forgive you. I forgave you, awhile ago. But you were too busy playing dust bunnies when it happened so, sorry for the late heart to heart. Take care geezer, I’ll always be your pal. Even when it seemed like I wasn’t.”_ He said softly with his signature pearly smile.

The blue light disappears, and the only sound left in the room was the small cube shutting off, and the gentle sobs that belonged to none other than Sergeant Barnes himself.

\---

It’s been two days since Tony Stark vibrantly expressed to Bucky that he was all forgiven. It was on Bucky’s mind frequently, pulling him in and out of trances that distracted him from the previous war he just fought. But even if this was something that distracted him, nothing could have distracted Steve. He was upset, upset enough that he sat there most days, that his beard was starting to grow back. It was frustrating everyone else who wanted to move on.

If Steve couldn’t move on, then how could they?

Bruce even argued quite aggressively about how Steve still hasn’t set a date to return the stones. It’s been three weeks since the battle, and Bucky explicitly remembered how Bruce explained how the stones had to be returned immediately.

But Steve just sat there. Staring at the wall as Bruce yelled at him. And Bucky couldn’t take it.

“Steve?” He looks to him, wanting to go over and hold him tight, to pull him out of an episode that Bucky has never seen Steve in before. Not even when Sarah died. Steve doesn’t say anything, he just looks straight ahead, his jaw clenched in anger and distraught from the sudden calling of his name.

“You should set that date pal, you really should.” He says softly. He takes a seat next to Steve, watching intently as to what he would do next. And from this rate, it wasn’t much.

“Ste-”

“Please, _stop_.” Harsh.

Bucky felt his cheeks flare from the sudden tone of Steve’s voice. “ I’m just trying to help-”

“It’s happening tomorrow at the cabin and that’s it. It’s done.” Steve spits, standing up and walking away, leaving Bucky sitting there in absolute shock. Bucky had a million reasons to get up and yell after him, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He knew something was happening that he had no control over, and Steve has probably sat in that chair thinking about it for three days straight.

Bucky believed that he finally made his decision. One that made tears brim his weary eyes.

-

With clammy hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, Bucky watching as he softly kicks the dead leaves that crunched under his boots. He was reckless, yet so still, enough that made Sam raise a brow and roll his eyes. But Bucky didn’t care. At least something kept him occupied.

Bruce explained to Steve what he had to do, as he closed the briefcase that delicately carries the stones. Sam stood by his side, but Bucky didn’t move a muscle. Bucky could feel his brows furrow as he realized time was running out. He watched Steve walk up to him. He looked rather bothered, probably still in distress from yesterday. But Bucky was desperate to not let Steve leave without a proper goodbye.

“Don't do anything stupid till I get back,” Steve mumbles, catching Bucky’s eyes quickly before giving him a faint smile. Bucky’s stomach dropped. He wanted nothing more than to kiss him and tell him that he couldn’t go, but he felt it wasn’t his place to.

Instead, Bucky gives him a pained smile, biting his lip before giving him the famous response, “How can I, you’re taking all the stupid with you.”

That smile disappeared, and his eyes screamed the forbidden words, but Steve was too blindsided. Steve was too preoccupied thinking about who he thought waited patiently for him on the other side. The two men grasp each other into a desperate hug. Bucky knew that this was the first time in a long time that he’d hug Steve like this, and he wasn’t letting it go to waste.

His chin nestled into Steve’s shoulder, his eyes shutting tight in hopes that tears won’t form. But Bucky felt conscious at how Sam noticed this differently and pulled away immediately, causing Steve to feel a sudden loss of touch for him. He looked at Bucky, brows furrowed, yet long and hard.

His hair, his eyes, his mouth, his nose, his everything, as he believed that this was the last time he was going to see them like this up close.

Steve felt the pit of his stomach tighten, and he knew what he was doing was wrong. “Gonna miss you, buddy.” It barely came out as a whisper, the strain in Bucky’s voice was present, causing Steve to swallow nervously. He looks him in the eyes this time without looking away.

He hasn’t looked into Bucky’s eyes since the day he watched him fall to dust.

They were blue, so blue and vibrant, yet so dull at the same time. They screamed something at him that Steve couldn’t quite catch, but he didn’t care - He just wanted to look into them.

“It’s gonna be okay, Buck.” Bucky gave him a small smile. That was it. That was their goodbye.

Steve’s mind was running too fast for his own speed. He felt sick, sick to his stomach about what he wanted to do. Sick that he wasn’t coming back. “How long is this gonna take?” Sam was eager, nervous, just as much as Bucky was. “For him, as long as he needs, for us? Five seconds.”

“We’ll meet you back here, alright?” Bruce says, as Steve only looks at Bucky. They bored holes into each other. “You bet.” He replies. Bruce’s words turned into a dull hum, and Steve couldn’t help but look at Bucky in fear.

But he couldn’t do anything about it, as he now tumbled into the vast of the quantum realm, leaving Bucky and Sam behind into the world he once knew.

-

Bucky’s head hung low, as Steve disappeared into thin air. He turned away, fighting back the pressure that sat in his throat, that urge to cry. Sam was deliberately yelling at Bruce to get Steve back.

_‘I hope I don’t lose him someday.’ _

So much happened so fast, Bruce was explaining that he found Steve’s new timestamp, but Bucky was stuck in his own thoughts. He couldn’t hear anything, he just stood there, his hand over his mouth and his eyes squeezed shut.

“We got him!-” “You got him?” “He’s coming back-” He heard none of it.

Bucky was in panic mode, over losing someone he loved, to a woman who he couldn’t compete with. That’s what he believed until a pair of arms spun him around and pulled him tightly into their chest. Bucky couldn’t even tell who It was at first.

He opened his eyes, to a blurry sight of Steve’s uniform collar. His eyes widened, jerking away from him to make sure it was really Steve himself.

“I stood at the front door of her office, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t.”

Steve strained, looking into those eyes that were now glazed over with tears. Bucky couldn’t say anything but give him a toothy smile, tears streaming down his face. Steve returned the gesture, wiping Bucky’s tears away before pulling him back into a tender hug. One that didn’t break for a good whole three minutes.

“I don’t exist or anything,” Sam mutters quietly, hoping only he could hear it. Sam looked up to the two, as Steve’s back faced him. He watches as they pull away from each other, only for them to lean close to each other once more. Sam smirked, shaking his head softly and looking down to his shoes.

Son of a bitch did it.

“Sam,” Steve calls, causing his head to turn to the two who’s hands brushed against each other. He leaves Bucky’s side, walking up to a rounded leather case. Sam looks at him with a small smile.

“I’m assuming something went right.” He pushes, causing Steve to purse his lips “I almost made the biggest mistake of my life.” Steve mutters, looking at Sam before giving him a clap on the shoulder. “I knew I had a life somewhere amongst every alternate reality set, but.. _that life that I want?_ Stands just over there.” He looks over to Bucky, who looked at the two with a small smile. Sam’s grin as too hard to hold back.

“That reminds me.” He claims, unzipping the leather case, and pulling out the red white and blue disk, that gleamed gently in the sunlight. Sam’s brows raised in awe, nodding his head in recognition of the iconic relic. “Try it on.” Steve says, causing Sam’s smile to disappear.

He looks to Bucky as if asking for permission. Bucky’s head gently nodded. Sam slips the shield onto his arm, feeling like the weight has been dumped onto his shoulders.

“How does it feel?”

“Like it’s someone else’s”

“It isn’t.”

Steve Rogers no longer held the title of Captain America. Sam Wilson, a man of worth, of pure loyalty, who stood by Steve's side through thick and thin over the last few years, showed Steve that the shield no longer belonged in his own hands.

And he was 100% okay with that.

He knew this was his best option if he wanted to live his life with Bucky, as he retrieved his shield and stood in front of Margaret Carter's office door. He felt dangerously inconsiderate. What about Sam? And the man he never got to kiss? Or Pepper and Morgan? 

What about them? 

So, he pushes his cap down a little more and held onto the leather circular case tightly, in hopes that no one will keep him stuck here for the rest of his life. 

And instead, he comes home. 


End file.
